My emotions are running high over here.
As I was putting Cole to bed tonight and singing him his song, stroking his hair as he was snuggled in sucking his thumb, I almost lost it. I still see him as this tiny little baby. My little baby. I very vividly remember when he was born and how it felt to be a new mom. His mom. He is such a fun kid with such an amazing personality for which I am always grateful. He is so easy going and quite the social one. He's fine with new babysitters, new friends, new roommates, nursery... pretty much anything.
We have had such a long week together, me and Cole. Last Saturday he developed two nasty ear infections. The poor kid had a fever for 6 full days, and was overly fussy and whiny, and he still can't hear. But finally - he is better thanks to some killer antibiotics. It has been rather intense at our place, for everyone. Especially me, and I lost my patience many times. This just all comes at such a hard time for me.
Cole is starting pre-school tomorrow. Tears come to my eyes just saying it. Am I crazy? For sending him or for feeling this way? He's so small, so innocent.... and mine. I had a little breakdown today and I'm sure tomorrow will be much worse. I know he will be ok. And I know he will love it. I'm only emotional because I just love this kid to one million little pieces. Even when the days are super long and so hard - I hope he always knows how much I love him. And that I'm constantly trying to be a better mom for him.
I love you Cole.
7 comments:
sweet post! i know you are a great mom!
i think every mom feels that way. and look at me, i'm the odd mom out. tyler is 4 and still hasn't gone to preschool. i'm keepin' him as long as i can!
what a sweet post-i'm sure he will always know how much you love him and miss him when he is gone-its tough amanda! being a mom is just plain tough sometimes. i think the milestones like preschool, kindergarten, etc. make us the most sad because they are signs that our kids are growing up. and we can't stop it! :(
glad to hear his little ears are improving. and hope he has a great first day of preschool!
You're doing great! I cannot believe how fast time has flown...what a big boy!! He will love it & you will get into a great routine with just you & Owen--which will be so much fun! Good luck with the transition...change is never easy.
You are an awesome mom and Cole is going to Love it!! I am feeling these exact same things. I hate change, especially when it involves my little guys. You will both do great and the moments together will become even more special than before. (at least that's what I keep telling myself!)
Amanda, this is a great blog and from a grandmothers point of view this too shall pass and actions become memories but you are not crazy you are one of many, the ones we call "mothers". He loves you so very much and always will. What a blessing. You will feel the same way when he leaves for college your heart just burns as he goes away. You will continue to grow as a mother and he will continue to grow as a person, a very good person.
Have blessed evening when he returns home and again is your snuggle monster. Gigi
You are an amazing Mom and this is the sweetest, most genuine post. I don't think I'll be as brave as you when Ava goes to school...she might be closer to 5 when I finally cave in. :) I just know you're going to Love your 1 on 1 time with Owen. :)
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